Sixteen ways to defend a walled city

He just couldn't help himself! And so he made history. Once upon a time there was a man on whom fortune smiled more than on others, although you might not say so by looking at his CV. His parents were killed in his childhood and he was sold into slavery; his new master taught him the carpenter's trade, then the imperial army freed him and he joined its ranks. On the other hand, he survived everything in good health, and even made it to the command of a regiment of engineers with the rank of colonel. So he dropped the name Orhan and started calling himself Felix, but his greatest test of destiny is yet to come... When the City.., which became his new home, finds himself under siege, to everyone's surprise, the bridge builder Felix becomes the one, what separates the residents from utter carnage. He may not have soldiers, weapons, supplies, or even the right skin colour, but that can't stop a resourceful con man of his stature. And even as one disaster after another descends upon him, he is determined to bring his incredible story to a happy ending no matter what! A fortified city can be defended in a total of fifteen ways, but if you lack the necessary resources, you can invent your own. The opening part of a free fantasy trilogy with a bottomless supply of dark humour and an unforgettable narrator who is no stranger to anything human. "Few fantasy novels are so very funny about the imaginative complications the characters face and their resolution." - Boris Hokr, iLiteratura.cz "This was so much fun! You can tell that K. J. Parker really enjoyed writing this book." - Fantasy Book Review "Perfect, funny, entertaining, cynical, and brilliantly written. It's impossible not to like the main antihero." - from reader feedback on Databazeknih.cz "A total blast! The writing style is like a mix of Abercrombie and Pratchett." - from reader reviews on Goodreads.com According to what the books say (there is an extensive literature on the subject), we have fifteen ways to defend a walled city. You can try one of them, and if it doesn't work out... Oh, that's right. But these books were written for generals, kings, emperors; or with access: next time we'll have better luck, and we've got plenty more cities like this. But to be fair, each of those 15 ways is practical and meaningful, provided, that you have the proper crew, sufficient supplies and material and a competent staff of trained officers, who form a properly constituted chain of command. What the books don't tell you is that there is a sixteenth way. You can use it when you have nothing at all: no things, no people, and no one to lead them. Otherwise, there is nothing to recommend it. Well, all right, I thought. Let's give it a try. - excerpt from the book